MSU officials announce new parking lot, ask students to be open minded about its location

March 31, 2016 by . News, Sugarbeet (Satire)

Shortly before noon on Tuesday, March 29, MSU Parking Services Manager Kite Blanko and Assistant Planner Cantdance Pastel announced that work on the new parking and transportation master plan was all “an elaborate ruse to distract you from the real work being done to improve our transportation to campus.” They reported to a room of curious reporters, students and faculty that they had, in fact, built a massive parking lot in northern Arizona.

Learning places college students in a box

February 3, 2016 by . Opinion, Sugarbeet (Satire)

College is all about growing into one’s personality— finding oneself. But that is not true for MSU student Monica Eagleton. “My parents have just like set so many like expectations for me and what if, like, I just don’t know what they’re talking about?” Monica, like many students today, feels trapped by the stereotypes that pervade the college experience.