Too Cool for Winter Clothing

The temperature has officially taken that permanent plummet, the one that signifies an end to our warm weather for the next several months. While it is not full-blown Montana winter weather yet, it is still a drastic change from mere weeks ago when it was almost too hot to wear shorts and sandals. Thankfully though, with the first snow of the year, the time for these outfits has officially arrived.

It never fails to amaze me how the people shuffling through campus look, with their hands shoved as deep into the pockets of their shorts that the lining will allow. Their toes are exposed to the frigid, damp air turning unsightly shades of blue and purple while the hair on their bare arms extends straight, praying to grasp any slight of heat available. Their thin, short sleeve t-shirts billow against their bodies as the wind races between the buildings down the Mall.

Man, these people are cold, I mean, cool.

I realize I’m a wimp when it comes to this frigid weather, which is why I’ll never be as fashionable as those braving it in their nearly bare skin. We all know it’s much too time consuming to throw on a coat versus a t-shirt, and slipping your feet into boots doesn’t even come close to matching the simple wiggle into Chacos, especially if your boots have laces to tie. I cannot imagine where I would fit those extra 30 seconds into my busy schedule.  

So, if you’re one of those fashionable people, I have some tips for you.

When asked by someone wearing their parka where your layers are, reply with a loud gasp, slight shake of the head and ask, “Who looks at their phones first thing in the morning?!” Act as though the mere thought of opening a screen to any weather app is appalling. Disgrace those students with their hand warmers and scarves on -20 degree days by shaming them for planning ahead. I mean, checking the weather before stepping outside? Never.

If someone sarcastically mentions you look a little chilly, slowly and clearly explain to them the whole mind-over-matter phenomenon. Obviously, they aren’t as strong-willed as you, so just be sure to elaborate how freezing rain doesn’t actually affect those who dress cool. Really, temperature and weather are all about mindset. Walk out into a blizzard envisioning a warm, sunny day and that’s what you’ll experience.

Finally, when the predicted high temperature is barely over freezing and there’s a ninety-nine percent chance of frozen rain (not that you’d know, because who checks the weather?), wear whatever you want. Remember, looking cool is much more important than being practical. So, be sure to firmly stick your toes through those flip-flop straps and proudly rock your crop top, whatever the weather may be.

 

Illustration by Terryn Premo