Thanks for not Voting

This is an open letter to all the students of MSU. I would like to thank you for your inaction. Year after year, the old trend holds true: those barely of voting age have little interest in the political system. Since college students tend to be liberal, this trend toward political apathy has proven a great boon to the Republicans, my preferred party. By failing to act in a way that benefits your interests, my party is able to continue budget cuts on universities, inhibit progress on social issues and reduce environmental protections. If students were willing to actually get their act together and vote, we would end up having to treat them seriously, and that just wouldn’t do.

In total, thanks for being disengaged and totally lazy so people I support can ride roughshod over your hopes and dreams for the world.

-Jason Campbell, Special Snowflake