With the School of Film and Photography (SFP) coming to a budgetary deficit this past year, the administration has unanimously decided a bake sale is the best way to recuperate funds. The sale, which is being scheduled for the second to last Wednesday of April, will consist of a host of student and faculty made baked goods.
The Assistant Director of the school, Andrew Basin, said how excited the whole faculty is about the proposal. “We think this will be some of the best content the school has ever produced,” he said. “If there is one thing our students excel at, it’s baking.”
This sentiment is also shared by students in the program. “We’re just all excited that the profs are admitting that baking is the best way to get us through the program,” said John Goddard, a junior in the program. He claimed he and his friends have been preparing for this kind of event since before it was even announced.
Concerns have been raised by other administrators on campus as to how successful a bake sale could be towards raising the funds necessary to keeping the department afloat. Basin quickly refuted these claims by saying, “Look, when people buy our baked goods, they’ll feel so good they’ll be hungry for more, and keep coming back. This isn’t going to be a one time thing.”
It is estimated that the bake sale will bring in upwards of $200,000 to the department, making it the most profitable endeavor SFP students have participated in. SFP should even consider partnering with the Colorado Cullinery Institute in order to create a Bachelor’s in Fine Cooking degree, as the current program is not as good at maximizing profits.
“Editors note: this article appeared in the March 31, 2016 edition of the Exponent, the “Excrement”. The edition is the annual April Fool’s edition of the paper. All articles are satire. For questions and comments please contact firstname.lastname@example.org or (406)994-2224.”