The Importance of Being Apathetic

Let’s be honest, you probably don’t care about this article. You were just flipping through the paper to find the photos from last week’s volleyball game, and the title happened to catch your eye. Normally, you’d’ve stopped reading by now, but perhaps you’re hooked. Now I’m just wasting your time, which is why you shouldn’t have cared in the first place.

We live in a fast-paced world, there’s not enough time to care. As college students, we’re swamped with Netflix, chill sheshes and over three credits of classes. How can we be expected to keep up with things like politics or global warming? That’s what scientists are for. We have to focus on our futures in college, and posting rants on Facebook isn’t going to get us there.

On top of that, nobody even reads Facebook anymore. Again, if we cared what other people posted, then we’d actually have to read all of that stuff. There’s only 15 seconds before Netflix starts the next episode of “Always Sunny,” there’s no way you could read the comments on an article someone shared, let alone the content itself.

Scientists are starting to prescribe apathy as a cure for stress, sleep-deprivation and even emotion in general. Dr. Neve Stichols, science expert, told us that they’ve “noticed an increase in apathy, linked to an increase in student wellness on campus.” Lucky for us, studies show Montana State’s levels of apathy are the highest in the entire Gallatin Valley, approximately 3.7 percent higher than Bozeman High.

This might not be the case for long, though. Clubs and activists all across campus have made it their job to make people care. The Center for Disease Control projections show that levels of apathy could drop by almost 30 percent in the next five years. Montana Hall made no comment on this development. If we keep doing things, we would end up caring more than those people who yell about Obama on TV, and nobody wants that.

Our ability not to care is being threatened by people who do. They will stop at nothing to make us care about our surroundings. When you’re walking to class listening to that sick mixtape you made in your pass/fail music lab, the last thing you want is for Morward Fontana or that preacher guy to tell you about the government or God or something.

The solution is us. Keep those earbuds in, tune out the noise, and check Instagram one more time. Make sure not to read the captions, because, let’s be honest, you don’t care. One day it may be possible for all of us not to care, but right now, today, there are still those that do all around us. So for now, we will all just have to keep not caring and hope they will too.