Given that this edition has been organized, written and published during dead week, I’m sorry to say that thought-out, serious and articulate writing is just not happening in this space. Sorry.
I almost wrote an editor’s desk piece exploring the nature of dead and finals week and their greater implications for student life, I really almost did. But then I realized that I didn’t want to write about that, and, let’s be honest, no one wants to read it either0.
So I decided to write a piece about the new Blackstone LaunchPad, but couldn’t figure out what it was. So I asked around and couldn’t find a person who knew. Seriously, does anyone know what’s up with that?
Deciding I couldn’t write a piece about nothing, I proceeded to change topics again, focusing on the greater meaning of the Cat/Griz rivalry. After all, the Exponent just put out the first ever game-day edition collaborating with UM’s student newspaper the Kaimin — that’s rife with possibility for expansion. But turns out anything related to Cat/Griz is still considered a sore topic.
I even started writing an editor’s desk about the purpose of a student newspaper on campus, but my staff unilaterally said they would toss me from the window if I proceeded. They also nixed detailing the importance of student involvement in campus affairs, they rolled their eyes at anything talking about they dying newspaper industry and I hate to say that they don’t find the topic of the legalities of free speech on campus nearly as interesting as I do.
To appease them, I decided to write about what running a newspaper is really like. Unfortunately, by all measure, it breaks down as simply as follows: 50 percent writing and editing, 24 percent panic, 10 percent email, 7 percent confusion, 4 percent pizza, 3 percent delegation and 2 percent exhaustion.
Starting to panic, I tried to figure some clever way to intertwine my schoolwork into a piece. I have 30 pages worth of essays due in the next few days. I thought, surely there is something in there that could work. But, I’m a political science major and couldn’t decide how Confucius and Plato would feel about campus politics. I also have a long essay on President Jimmy Carter due, but really couldn’t figure out how that correlates.
I admit at this point, I was on the verge of giving up. Here are some other thoughts bounced around. Admittedly, not all of them were winners:
How much engaging would an engaged leader do if an engaged leader could engage?
Why is there never any decent food around the Exponent office?
How cold would it have to get before eyeballs started freezing? I’m pretty sure it’s that cold outside.
How much coffee would a person have to drink before they died? I’m pretty sure half the school population is dangerously close to that point.
In the end, the only things I was left with were scattered thoughts and a disheartened soul. The only consolence I can promise you, dear reader, is you won’t have to read any more of my ramblings this semester.
With the new semester, the Exponent will return on Jan. 16. Have an absolutely wonderful holiday season all!