Rant: Learn to Park

Here’s a little something that not too many people know. In America, there are these things called “parking spaces.” They are made with little solid lines meant for designating certain areas to stop your car in.

You may not be the most observant person in the world, but you see them every day. Just because it’s snowing outside doesn’t mean those lines are erased from the asphalt. “Hold on a second, Nate,” you might say. “I can’t see the lines because of the snow!” No worries, fellow motorist. That’s where this crazy thing called “common sense” comes into play. If you think parking your piece of crap Prius sideways next to another already overparked, oversized and overcompensating truck is a good idea, you may want to reevaluate your everyday decision-making.

Just because there aren’t visible lines doesn’t mean you can’t park side-by-side like a normal human being. It’s really not that hard. You may wonder who leaves those angry little notes under your windshield wiper while you’re in class. If I had to guess, it would be people like me, who are tired of driving to Miles City to find a place to park because you were too lazy to fix your parking and took up 11 spots. Get a grip and go back to the DMV, or ride a bike since you can’t be trusted behind the wheel.

— Nate Orlowski