Bieber apologizes for local public indecency

Justin Bieber was spotted on March 1 celebrating his 22nd birthday in handcuffs as he was escorted out of the Bozeman Hot Springs after refusing to throw away his alcohol and streaking across the building in defiance. This is not the first time Bieber has been spotted in the nude or with alcohol disturbances; his recent vacation in Bora Bora showed Bieber parading around in the buff, and his abusive alcohol consumption is no secret with his public DUI.

The Bozeman Hot Springs does not allow alcohol in the building and that was made clear to Bieber during a tour of the building. Preceding the tour, Bieber was found taking shots of Sortilege Maple Liqueur in the locker room and after being asked multiple times by staff to leave, Bieber yelled out “I’m Canadian and it’s my birthday!” Bieber then stripped off his pants and began to run around the building away from authorities.
Shortly after Bieber was caught, security cuffed him while still in the nude and threw him in the back of a cop car where he would be transported back to his private jet. After Bieber settled down, officials told members of press that Bieber apologetically called the Bozeman Hot Springs crying out, “Is it too late to say I’m sorry now?”

Editor’s note: This article appeared in the March 31, 2016 edition of the Exponent, the “Excrement”. The edition is the annual April Fools’ edition of the paper. All articles are satire. For questions and comments please contact ExponentEditor@montana.edu or (406)994-2224.