Cruzaldo briefcase contains snowday codes

MSU President Waldo Cruzaldo was seen in recent months carrying around a black briefcase that she never sets down. The president has dodged questions from the Excrement about what the briefcase contains, only responding with, “Go Cats, go!” before walking briskly back to Montana Hall.

Recently, ASMSU President Lindy Madduck revealed the briefcase contains the codes needed for MSU to declare a snow day. “The codes are accessed through a system similar to an android lock screen,” Madduck said, “Personally, I think I should have the codes.”

Chemistry professor Dr. Ester Azide told the Excrement that Cruzaldo has been using the briefcase as a bargaining chip. “She is threatening to never declare a snow day unless money is allocated to administration dinners and not research,” Azide said.

The information has shocked and angered a lot of students and faculty members. “I think that a snow day should have been called because I couldn’t get my car to work it was so cold,” said sophomore Glenn Coco, referring to the temperatures that Montana saw this winter season.