Tailgating is a sport

Every football game day, almost like clockwork, an armada of trailers, trucks, vans and tents appears in the Bobcat Stadium parking lot. No matter what weather, who the Bobcats are playing or if a natural disaster struck, there will be tailgaters.

Where do these people come from? They crawl out of the woodwork and drive who knows how far to set up before the game, burning teddy bears at the stake while cheering so loudly Montana Hall shakes.

It’s not real tailgating unless you stay in a trailer five days before the game, and go to sleep counting how many seconds are between you and kickoff. The manly cologne of whiskey and burnt barbecue is the usual alternative to regular bathing. Even if you live in Bozeman and have a house with all the luxuries of the Starship Enterprise, staying in a trailer is better.

If the beer is frozen, just hold it until it thaws and if the propane tanks for the barbeque are frozen too, just try harder to get it going. A balmy ten degrees below zero is shrugged off, and the weather has no effect on these diehard tailgating machines.

Who cares if little Timmy is frozen to his seat with Diet Coke and nacho cheese? He’s shivering with excitement for the game! It’s a great time to throw some hot dogs on the now functioning grill and give Timmy another Diet Coke.

So whether there’s a meteor headed for Bozeman or zombies crawling out of the ground, it’s game day. Let’s dress those zombies in blue and gold and watch the game.