Spies Never Tell Lies

The National Security Agency (NSA) and its role in foreign and domestic surveillance has been a very controversial issue in global politics lately. Everyone has been in such a fuss ever since that terrible cyber terrorist Edward Snowden snagged all those top secret documents and flew off to Hong Kong. However, why people are so concerned about the NSA’s role in surveillance and privacy infringement doesn’t make any sense. As any well-informed citizen of the world would know, the NSA would never do anything disagreeable or illegal. The agency’s only mission is to protect us from harm. Unfortunately, the NSA just doesn’t know enough about each of us in order to really protect us from evil. The real problem is that the NSA does not play a big enough role in our daily lives.

The NSA has been at a disadvantage ever since its inception. People have always been so uptight about their privacy. What does everyone have to hide? The agency can only do its best work if it knows everything about all of us. In the name of justice, freedom, and above all security, the NSA should have the right to read all of our private email messages, listen to our telephone conversations, and even track our personal medical records and any other records that seem appropriate for domestic espionage. The more it knows about our hopes, fears, desires, and intentions, the better. Increased transparency of people’s private information can only lead to a safer world. And as any person in their right mind knows, the NSA has always been completely transparent and honest about its actions and intentions.

The most common arguments against the NSA center around the agency apparently accumulating too much power and influence to spy on unsuspecting, law-abiding citizens. However, these arguments are completely misinformed. Any agency with as much power as the NSA and virtually no hierarchical supervision would never abuse its power. From the intelligence vantage point that the agency has settled into, it knows that it must only wield its power for good, according to the interests of all citizens in America and the world at large. Otherwise, the agency could become very corrupt and abusive, even a tool for political leaders and various government personnel working behind the radar. Luckily, this is not the case. Once again, another government agency has ignored potential power in lieu of being morally upright, truthful and above all clean of conscience.

Nobody has anything to worry about. The days continue to go by, and the NSA has yet to tell a single lie. The ones that are lying are those that say the NSA isn’t spying on us in our best interests. The latest attempt by the agency to intercept interserver Gmail messages is just another instance of the NSA ensuring that it knows our every thought. With the ability to read every person’s private emails, the agency could potentially eradicate all unlawful behavior in order to finally instill world peace. So relax, and don’t worry about being spied on by your own government. After all, any person that thinks the NSA has any bad intentions is just another crazy conspiracy theorist.