ASMSU Senate sanctions Russia

In an emergency meeting last night, March 26, the ASMSU Senate voted to sanction Russian officials over the situation in Crimea. The sanctions include Bobcat ticket bans and a ban on wearing locally produced Sitka gear ever again. Russian President Vladimir Putin and Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev were among the officials who were sanctioned.

Student Body President Lindy Madduck issued an official statement lauding the ASMSU Senate’s decision. “I commend the engaged leadership of the ASMSU Senate and urge fellow universities throughout Montana to follow the excellent example the students have set. The territorial aggression of the Russian Federation against Ukraine must be stopped. As Bobcats, we stand with the people of Ukraine and will help them get the vim as well. Go Cats!”

Putin responded aggressively to the passage of the sanctions. Speaking to the State Duma, the Russian Federation’s parliament, he declared the sanctions an attack against not only himself but the Russian people as well. Putin proposed striking back with sanctions against the exportation of vodka to any liquor store serving in the Gallatin County.

“The people of the Crimea have spoken in a completely open and democratic process. The ASMSU Senate’s decision to sanction the Federation shows that ASMSU is ruling by the ‘gun’,” Putin said.

Shortly after Putin’s speech, Medvedev brought the motion to sanction the Gallatin County to a floor vote. The sanctions were passed by an overwhelming landslide, with only one dissenting voice. Unsurprisingly, Sergei Grizsuckslamov, a former student of MSU voted against what he decried as “astonishing behavior coming from little more than grizzlies.” Sergei was removed forcibly from the room yelling, “Go Cats, go!”

When asked if ASMSU’s decision was outside of the senate’s scope, the ASMSU senators responded with a joint statement: “It is important for the United States of America and the people of Ukraine to know that the senate of ASMSU stands with them.”