Students Missing in Wilson Hall

Gallatin County Sheriff Lou Tennent and Deputy Han D’Kuff launched a multi-agency response for reports of missing students in Wilson Hall. Sophomore Bill Ding and freshman Ivy Leeg were last seen leaving the Math Learning Center on Oct. 25 at 4:20 p.m.

“We do not have any leads, clues or evidence,” said Deputy D’Kuff, “this is the third missing persons case this semester in Wilson. Recovery is unlikely.”

Deputy D’Kuff noted concern over volunteers and personnel deployed for the mission due to the lack of navigational equipment and geographic knowledge in Wilson. “It is a very, very, dangerous place,” explained D’Kuff, “it’s super confusing. Like, who designed it?”

According to Wikipedia historian Hue_Gweng69, Wilson Hall was designed by a team of architecture majors who procrastinated on their Senior Capstone assignment until 9:00 p.m. the night before it was due and completed an entire building plan in under six hours. MSU faculty was so impressed by the feat, they replaced two small parking lots with the design. It was completed in 2000 and named for Tom Hanks’ co-star’s critically-acclaimed performance in “Castaway.” Over 2,500 people have disappeared in the tangled web of catacombs, extended wetlands and mysterious caverns comprising Wilson Hall.

Sheriff Tennent and volunteers from the Big Ski Sky Patrol conducted a preliminary sweep of the region but were forced to turn around due safety concern after a creepy clown stole one of the rescuer’s paper boats.