Okay. So you’re alone on Valentine’s Day. No biggie, there’s tons of hotties in your favorite books, movies and TV shows. if you can look past the fact that they’re, well, fictional. Here are the top four possible dates for this Valentine’s Day, ranked:
- The Wicked Witch of the West—Wizard of Oz
If you can get past the green skin and abundant warts, the Wicked Witch of the West is not a bad date at all for Valentine’s Day. She’s got an army of flying monkeys that are perfect minions for fetching flowers and chocolates. And, who wouldn’t want a sweet ride on her broomstick?
Ideal date location: Waterparks, Kansas
Things to bring on this date: Ruby slippers, waterproof spray
Downsides: Her sister was crushed by a house, and she just can’t get over that. Also unable to go for a dip in the pool.
- Severus Snape—Harry Potter
This wizard is a must for any magical dates. His personality may be dour, but if you look past that, you’ll see he has a heart of gold. Sure, he joined up with the most evil wizard to ever exist, and thinks it’s okay to bully children, but everyone has faults!
Ideal date location: The Shrieking Shack
Things to bring on this date: A love potion, any snake-themed items you find
Downsides: Has a seething hatred for an eleven-year-old and his friends
- Edward Cullen—Twilight
This man will do anything to make sure you’re kept safe, up to, and including, watching you sleep! Fangs are so in, and he has them in spades. If you don’t mind the lack of a pulse, or rational responses to wanting someone to stay safe, this guy is perfect for you! Added bonus: he’s over a hundred years old, so he’s got lots of life experience, and he sparkles.
Ideal date location: Forks, WA, a blood bank
Things to bring on this date: A stake, garlic
Downsides: Probably wants to drink your blood
- Cersei Lannister—A Song of Ice and Fire
This ex-queen is bloodthirsty, and deadly, but beautiful. However, when she’s not plotting political takedowns or thwarting plans against her, she can be found wandering the grounds of King’s Landing. Just make sure not to bring any direwolves or Starks with you on your date.
Ideal date location: Highgarden, The Red Keep
Things to bring on this date: A dagger to protect yourself
Downsides: A penchant for banging her brother and pushing children out of windows