Trashy places for trashy people

In the rich and lively town of Bozeman, there are plenty of awesome places to hang out. One of the most popular and culturally representative areas of the town is the Bozeman Convenience Site, the city landfill. Located on Story Mill Road, it is just out of town enough to get away from the hustle and bustle and into the serene landscape, but also close enough to make it an easy drive from anywhere.

When people ask me about my favorite places in Bozeman, the landfill makes the list every time. With views of trash containers and the smell of rotting waste dominating the air, I really can’t think of a lovelier place to spend time. The cool college kids in town can often be spotted hanging out among the filth talking or looking for a new house accessory or appliance. The landfill has competitive prices on things like old TVs and desks and is a much more affordable option than Ikea.

The landfill is also a popular spot for meetings or collaborations between co-workers and business people. You can bring your coffee and sit in the rubble to discuss new business ideas, team projects or the latest assignments. You’ll come back to the office rejuvenated from the fresh air and smelling better than you ever have. The landfill is also a must-see for anyone who is from out of town. Whenever my friends visit me, it is one of the first places I take them and it gives them a great first impression of Bozeman.

Culturally, the landfill is a very interesting and diverse place. Different types of people go there and you can find almost anything under the sun. It offers more variety than any art museum; everything you’ll look at is unique and so gross that you probably won’t want to touch it. Everywhere you turn there is inspiration, and it is a great place to go with a sketchbook just to get the creative juices flowing.

The good news is, the landfill is only continuing to grow thanks to all of the waste the good people of Bozeman throw away. The piles are getting higher every day and the only way to keep this beautiful landmark and Bozeman staple alive is to keep making garbage. Recycling isn’t really important anyway, so the more things that are brought to the dump the better. The more trash, the bigger the landfill will be and the more it can take up space that otherwise could be beautiful wild, land. Who wants that anyway?

The Bozeman Convenience Site has winter (Nov. 1 – March 31) and summer (April 1 – Oct. 31) hours. The winter hours are Thursday, Friday and Saturday 8 a.m. – 3:30 p.m., and the summer hours are Tuesday – Saturday 8 a.m. – 3:30 p.m. Anyone can drop off trash or hang out between those times. Fees apply, so come on time as the late fee disposal charge is implemented at 3:31 p.m.

Editors note: this article appeared in the March 31, 2016 edition of the Exponent, the “Excrement”. The edition is the annual April Fool’s edition of the paper. All articles are satire. For questions and comments please contact editor@exponent.montana.edu or (406)994-2224