One night stand etiquette

Maybe you’ve just met. Or maybe the tension finally boiled over with that certain someone you had your eye on. In any case, waking up in an unfamiliar bed next to someone can always be a jarring experience, whether it’s your first one-night stand or your twentieth. But that doesn’t mean it has to be shameful or awkward.

The nice thing about college is that there are plenty of options to pursue and it’s a time for experimentation and finding out what gets you going. Each weekend can be a new opportunity for you — a new person, a new position or a new twist — provided that the encounters are consensual and enthusiastic, of course. But that doesn’t mean your math class should become your buffet line, trying a new bite every week without care, because unlike buffet food, your partners have feelings.

Today we’re talking about one-night stand etiquette. If you only take one thing from this article, have it be this: as long as both parties know what they’re looking for out of the encounter, then fire away. When both parties are interested in no-strings-attached sex and are on the same page about it, then it can be a fun way to enjoy a (hopefully pleasurable) experience. However, when things play out differently, feelings can be hurt or worse.

That said, here’s a few more rules to ensure that everyone has a good time:

  • Try to remember their name, or at least get the first letter right. Don’t fake it if you’ve forgotten though, that never ends well. No last names — you don’t want to know too much.
  • Nothing too weird, keep things simple. If you didn’t know about it in eighth grade you may want to save it for your second time (if there is one).
  • ALWAYS use protection. No one wants a new itch or to be in a three-year paternity suit.
  • Know how to find the bathroom quietly. These things often lead to late nights — no need to exacerbate your partner’s lack of sleep by waking them up.
  • Maybe keep deodorant and an extra shirt in your car in case you don’t have time to go home before heading to work or school in the morning.
  • Don’t judge their ugly furniture or lack of artwork. It’s OK to judge their thread count though.
  • Remember they’re probably as scared of you as you are of them. Everyone has insecurities, some people are just better at hiding them than others.
  • If you had a good time and want more, offer your contact info. Remember your partner may never want to see you again though, and don’t get pushy.
  • Exit gracefully.