Hooking up has been part of college culture for a long while — probably at least since colleges became co-ed. With hooking up comes getting turned down. For some, this fear of rejection is only second to a grizzly bear attack and showing up naked for a test that you didn’t study for when it comes to college phobias. Others look at it from another perspective. The one “yes” out of a dozen “no”s is the only one that counts. Today, we’re going to start off with the basics before we get down and dirty; we’re going to talk about how to get rejected respectfully and how to reject someone respectfully.
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner (see the centerfold for solo ways to spend Sunday) and that means Desperation Day is even closer. Luckily, you’ll have both Friday and Saturday to try and convince someone (or anyone) that the best way to spend their day might be in the sheets with you. Maybe you’ll get lucky and that pickup line you saw work in a movie will work for you too. But more likely, unless you’re really, really ridiculously good looking, there will be fish that don’t bite.
What should you do when somebody doesn’t want to know if that’s a roll of quarters in your pants or not? Let’s have a quick pop quiz:
Call them a mean name
Say you were only joking anyway
Say okay and leave them alone
Wet your pants (and not in the good way)
In this quiz, much like many other multiple choice tests, the correct answer is C. While you may feel hurt inside, don’t let rejection get you down! It’s perfectly okay to tell that guy in your math class that you want to take a mustache ride or tell the girl at the bar that you like her eyes when that’s definitely not where you were staring. What is a lot less okay is to put them down when they reject you (inevitably, I might add, because both those lines are terrible). No means no; it doesn’t mean keep trying, it doesn’t give you a license to be rude but it also doesn’t mean it’s the end of your world. So just take it in stride, assure yourself that they’re the one missing out and move on to other, maybe more receptive fish in the sea.
It’s perfectly okay to want to sleep with someone. You can’t control who you find attractive and you can’t control who’s still hanging around at last call. What you can control this Desperation Day is how you handle yourself when trying to find interested partners. This goes both ways though. If someone does hit on you or asks if you’ve got plans for the night — unless they’re extremely rude — there’s no good reason to not graciously take it as a compliment and gently turn them down. Just don’t make it weird or a big deal on both ends. College is about finding out who you are and what you’re into, so don’t get hung up on the one that got away this Valentine’s Day.