Bozeman resident and MSU student Noah Leeds puzzled his neighbors this week as he piled 300 square cubits of lumber from Home Depot and began erecting the skeletal frame for an ark. The snow science major has been working around the clock to finish his creation because, in his own words, “When the snow melts, the flood is coming.”
“Dude, have you seen those drifts in people’s yards?” Leeds proclaimed. “When that melts, Gallatin Valley’s becoming Gallatin Lake.”
He then proudly boasted of his collection of local animal pairs round up for this predicted cataclysm, but the only animals he could gather was a couple of squirrels and some feral cats. In addition, he has recruited two of each type of Bozeman resident, including ski bums, entitled ranch kids, disgruntled Californians and outdoors nuts. Conspicuously absent were local music hipsters, but when asked about their exclusion, Leeds explained, “They have no place in the new Bozeman.”
Leeds’s interview was cut short as he panicked at the sight of runoff water flowing downhill on 11th Street. Reports of a strong odor of marijuana were unconfirmed.