Rep. Daines discovered to be GOP-controlled robot

In a move that has shocked some Montanans and made perfect sense to others, Rep. Steve Daines (R-Mont.) revealed himself to be a robot, controlled by Speaker of the House John Boehner. The accidental discovery came during a press conference when the android attempted to explain how he could simultaneously support Montana’s environment and strip coal mining. Daines’s head promptly exploded after his processor experienced a fatal, contradictory logic error.

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Billings Gazette photographer Samuel Buckley after he snapped a photo of Daines’s smoking head and exposed mechanical parts not actually made in America.

Other people, however, did not find the incident surprising. The Montana Cowgirl blog posted, “I always joked Daines was Boehner’s puppet; I didn’t know how right I was.”

Following the incident, RightNow Technologies issued a statement admitting they had created the robot to automatically oppose anything proposed by President Barack Obama, revealing that the real Steve Daines was replaced long ago. An anonymous source informed the Exponent there are many such robots under Congressional control, saying, “Once they figure out how to make computers process those contradictory political positions, there will be no stopping them.”