Students walking barefoot in public causes foot-fungus epidemic

A rather creepy and spooky issue has surfaced at MSU. Recently, MSU Student Health Services has received a record-breaking number of students coming in with a strange foot fungus. The cause? Students are walking barefoot in public. This trend has (not surprisingly) resulted in the contraction of a severe foot-fungus, which doctors have identified as Hippias Shouldntdothiosis. So far, there have been 39 reported cases.

“Never in my 23 years of working at the Student Health Services have I seen a foot fungus epidemic like this before,” said Dr. Stevenson, who has been working at Student Health Services for 23 years. One of the nurses commented, “We are going do everything we can to take care of this, so take a seat and we’ll be with you in a moment.”

“I have no idea how this could’ve happened!” said one of the students suffering from the fungus. “I’ve gotten so used to not wearing shoes in the last couple of months; I had no idea my feet would get infected!”

“This is crazy, man!” said another student. “The ways a trend can lead to the consequences in such a repressive society, man…” he trailed off.

Nurses and doctors everywhere are advising students to take precautions to avoid the epidemic. They offer the suggestions of always wearing shoes and socks, showering every now and then and using Odor Eaters spray.