MSU Coach looks to Art Department for New Players

The MSU Football team and Head Coach Bob Fire are stretched thin because of injured players, with Coach Fire even worrying about having enough players to start a game. To find a solution, this past Wednesday he went to the School of Arts and Architecture to look for some new recruits. “I thought I could use some new perspective on the field, although I think we may have different ideas about what ‘perspective’ means,” Coach Fire said after hosting the first try-out. “Check that, this might’ve been a horrible idea.”

Many believe this is a plot to make our once-proud Cats a losing team; others think this is a great way to improve our teams colors…literally. At the try-out, a design student commented, “Blue and Gold? How about we throw some attractive colors in there, like a nice teal or saffron?”

However, not all art students were opposed to the idea. A philosophy/paint student stated, “I can’t wait to blow their minds when I think outside of the huddle.” The same student was later hospitalized.

No one is sure if this desperate strategy will work: “It’s hard to say if this will be the new canvas on which we sketch our way to the championship,” said Coach Fire. “All I know is that the playbook is going to get a lot more colorful and the X’s and O’s are going to look a lot more like Vincent Van Goghs paintings. Let’s hope no one loses an ear over this.