Good sex is a wondrous thing to experience. It’s sort of like eating really good pizza. The Sexponent has put together a quick-and-easy guide to encourage you to go and have some seriously glorious good times:
Embrace positivity! Letting your partner know what turns you on and what doesn’t; what feels good and what doesn’t is a no brainer. Being explicit with your preferences is easy and it makes sex (in any form) so much better for both of you. Simple phrases like “Right there!/Don’t stop!/I like it when you ___!” enhance the experience and reassure your partner you are enjoying yourself.
Carpe diem! Sex has many different tempos. Sometimes, it’s slow and methodical; other times it’s a race to the finish. Understand that each time you have sex it is unique — make it worthwhile. Changing locations also makes it fun! Take a shower together, head into the wilderness or brainstorm other places you’d like to get down. NOTE: The Sexponent would like to remind you to make sure the location is a safe and legal place to have sex, i.e. where you won’t be ticketed for indecent exposure, contract lyme disease, etc.
[pullquote align=”right”]Sex isn’t a static experience — it ebbs and flows. Find your inner kink![/pullquote]
Speak up! Perhaps your partner wants to be tied up or blindfolded, or maybe you want to be spanked every once in a while. Encourage communication with each other about what you want to try — you might be surprised by how creative you both are! There is nothing wrong with experimenting with different positions, accessories, dirty talk, etc. Sex isn’t a static experience — it ebbs and flows. Find your inner kink! Trying new things can enhance a relationship by strengthening trust between partners. HINT: Don’t expect things to always go flawlessly. Have a laugh and move on!
Don’t judge! Maybe your significant other wants to watch porn with you or experiment with bondage. If those ideas are scary or make you uncomfortable, say so, but don’t pass judgment on your partner’s ideas. It’s alright to be nervous or apprehensive, or to say no altogether. However, labeling their ideas as disgusting, bad or dirty discourages openness and honesty later on.
Have fun! Sex can be a beautiful shared experience between two people who deeply care about one another, but it should still be fun. Building up your expectations too much — for yourself and your partner — does not necessarily add to the experience. Instead, it creates unrealistic and unattainable goals, no matter how good someone is in bed. Go into it with an open mind, trust your partner, relax and enjoy yourself.