Riding the tricycle

Q: So, I really want to have a threesome but I’m not even sure where to begin. Do you have any insights?

A: Threesomes, while considered the holy grail of sex by some, are one of the trickiest sexual activities a person can attempt. Know that there will be awkward moments, and at their worst threesomes can tear apart otherwise happy relationships. If you feel that the risk is worth it and you still want to ride the tricycle, here are some guidelines to make it go as smoothly as possible.

First things first, you have to find two other willing participants. If you are in a relationship and your partner is interested, work together and choose someone you both find acceptable. Whatever you do, do not choose a close friend or someone you see frequently; you want to be able to avoid them if things go poorly. If your partner does not have any interest in having a threesome, don’t push it.

The next step is finding a good location. It needs to be a comfortable space with plenty of room — the mechanics of threesomes are difficult enough without trying to cram three bodies onto a twin mattress.

Now it all comes down to the act. This can be quite difficult to manage and varies depending on your gender, sexuality and the make-up of the threesome group (whether it’s two guys and one girl, two girls and a guy or same-sex). While traditional intercourse is a constant back-and-forth between two individuals, a threesome is somewhat more cyclical; the focus will not always be on you. It is important to not get jealous and to be patient. Keep yourself busy or just fly solo for a while until the attention comes back around.

The most important thing to remember is this: Just as in any sexual endeavor, communication is critical. If you don’t communicate honestly and openly, emotions can run amok, and creating trust issues. Even if you are not in a relationship with one of the other two participants, feelings may develop due to the inherently intimate nature of sex. Be cautious and very clear with your intentions and how you feel.

This may sound rather daunting, however, it can be a fun experience, or just the right spice for a long-term relationship.