Barsexual Tendencies

Q:

One of my friends called me a “barsexual” the other night. Could you explain what a “barsexual” is? Is it a bad thing?

A:

The term “barsexual” is a play on words, combining the words “bar” and “bisexual.” It is usually used to refer to a person — generally a straight female, but not always — who exhibits bisexual tendencies when drunk. The trademark of so-called barsexuals is the drunker they get, the more they hit on people of the same gender.

Have you ever been to a party and seen two girls kiss, grind or otherwise fool around? The
answer is probably yes. And unless that party had a few lesbian or bisexual girls, what you have seen is the barsexual at work.

Being a barsexual is not a bad thing, just so long as you are comfortable with it and always respectful of others. Bi-curiousity isn’t uncommon, and college tends to be a time when testing the waters is relatively acceptable.

That said, be careful not to take it too far and get it on with a girl or boy who is more than curious about same-gender sex. It’s a recipe for an awkward morning, if nothing else.

If you’re feeling barsexual, do not purposefully hit on someone who may take your intentions at face value. At least try to have a friend there with you to help control the damage.

I like to think of myself as fairly easy-going, but when a girl kisses me at a party, I usually want it to be because she’s interested in me — not because she’s never kissed a girl and she wants to sympathize with that Katy Perry song. And certainly not because she thinks it will help land her a guy at the party. Ouch.

Most importantly, if you have a LGB (lesbian/gay/bisexual) friend, try not to make his or her life
difficult because of your inebriated inquisitiveness. That’s a good way to lose a friend or make him or her uneasy. If you find yourself pulling your friend into a grind line, kissing him or her or even licking whipped cream off him or her, you should probably stop and make sure your friend is okay with this. What is a game for you could be uncomfortably sexy for him or her.

Also, remember: Drunk you is rarely the smartest you, so try to make decisions you won’t
regret in the morning.