Dear Aspen,

When attempting to approach someone in a bar, how can you tell if they’re too “buzzed” to offer an intelligent conversation? I’m tired of talking to slurring, slumped idiots every time I go out.

If you’re looking for intelligent conversation around large groups of people consuming alcohol, you may have to weed through quite a few contenders before anyone can offer a discussion. However, there are a few signs to look for that can help you avoid the worst.

Look for people who keep repeating themselves. If this is the third time tonight they’ve told you the story about their encounter with a Cher doppleganger, there’s a good chance they are too drunk. Also, look for people making up their own words and using them to describe everything.

For females, watch the ones in heels who don’t seem to be moving much. Heels are dangerous, and the combination of heels and drinking can prove disastrous. If she’s wearing heels and afraid to move, there’s a good chance she’s going to stumble when she does.

The dance floor can also provide a clue. If the person hasn’t made any indication they like or want to groove and suddenly make way for the floor, watch out. Moves rivaling John Travolta’s may be ahead, and once you get them started, it’s hard to stop.

Finally, begin paying attention to their disappearances. As one becomes more intoxicated, they’re likely to begin disappearing more frequently, and for longer periods of time. They could be leaving for the obvious need of more bathroom stops, to speak with anyone they know or to “go on an adventure.” The longer they’re gone, the more likely they’ve forgotten what they were originally doing. And if they can’t remember what they were doing 27 seconds ago, it’s likely they won’t remember most of your conversation, anyway.